In May of 1998 I boarded a plane for just the second time in my life, a non-stop flight from Pittsburgh to Denver. I packed a pair of suitcases and my guitar, off to spend the summer working in Rocky Mountain National Park. 

When I finally got to the "real" mountains. 

Despite growing up in Western Pennsylvania and having never been there, I was obsessed with going to Colorado and living in the “real” mountains.

In Pennsylvania we said we have mountains but that's pretty generous. 

For the most part, we have hills.

I spent a few days in Estes Park, which sits at the base of the Rocky Mountains (and is home to scenes from Dumb and Dumber)  before making my first trek into the park. I remember having to put my face face on the dashboard of the car just to see the snow covered peaks as we wove our way up Trail Ridge Road. 

I was lost for words trying to take in the beauty. 

Over the course of that summer I hiked close to 300 miles of trails in the park, taking each day off from my work at Trail Ridge Store to pick a new hike.

It wasn’t until I hiked the mountains of Colorado that I discovered and understood the beauty of the switchback trails. 

A switchback, if you’re not familiar, is described as an 180 degree bend in a road or path, especially one leading up the side of the mountain. Rather than hiking straight up the side of a mountain, you zig zag your way up however many miles of trails until you get above tree line and to the summit.

I thought of switchbacks a few weeks ago when a client came in after a very busy, packed weekend filled with tons of physical activity. The more she described her weekend activities the more I was re-thinking the best workout for her that day. 

“Oh no,” she said, reading my thoughts. “That doesn’t mean I want you to take it easy on me!” 

We haggled back and forth for a bit before meeting in the middle with some active recovery work added at the end of her workout. 

Sometimes we equate hard core suffering with work. We feel that we're only getting results if we're nose down in the turf, sucking wind and drowning in a pool of sweat.

No.

The path to getting results isn't always charging straight up the North Face of a steep mountain. Sure that's one way to do it, but the chances of losing a step and falling backwards increase dramatically when you take that approach. 

You can still get to the top of the mountain using the switchbacks, and hopefully not rolling 200 feet down the mountain when you miss a step. 

I don't recall which hike this was, but once we got above tree-line, the switchbacks ended and we were walking straight up the side of the mountain. Also this was before digital cameras. No need for an instagram filter here...

(As a side thought, aren’t you impressed with anyone who has reached the summit on Mount Everest? Or are you only impressed if they did so without oxygen? Sure doing it with no oxygen is much harder, but I would argue that both are impressive.)

Switchbacks don’t mean that you don’t do the work. They just make the journey more accessible and manageable. Hiking eight miles of trail, switchbacks and all, is plenty of work. But they allow you, hopefully, to slow down every few bends, stop and look around and enjoy the view. And then, after a short rest and a long drink of water, you tighten your backpack and tackle the next part of the trail. 

I hope you're stopping every now and then to appreciate where you are at on your journey. That you can see the good views and truly absorb what you are doing well. 

I know what it feels like to want to make yourself suffer. To punish yourself with a workout because of the self-loathing you feel for yourself. To feel like you're an awful person and that beating the hell out of yourself is justice for everything you hate yourself for. 

No.

You don't have to make everything you do as hard as possible. 

I'm not saying you don't have to work hard. This journey can and will be difficult. 

I'm just saying you don't have to climb Mount Everest without oxygen.

Or a sherpa :-) 

Ok? 

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My favorite book, which I've referenced before, is "Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion," by Father Greg Boyle.  

Having the chance to read to my niece and nephew is pretty important. Even if they're not so small anymore...

If you're unfamiliar, Father Boyle founded Homeboy Industries, an organization in L.A. that helps to rehabilitate gang members. They started with a bakery, but now have an entire operation that includes screen printing and catering.

In the book, Father Greg tells the story of a 17-year-old boy about to be baptized who is speaking of his growing appreciation for his mother.

“Every Sunday, the entire time I was in jail, my mother came to visit me,” he says, breaking down and weeping. “She took seven buses every Sunday, just to get to me and visit my sorry ass.”

There are many stories from this book that I love. But this is one of my favorites. 

I took the bus and the subway (in Boston, it's called the T) during my five years in the city. I'd sold my car before moving, so I either walked or took public transportation everywhere.  

While I was relieved to not drive in Boston, the exchange was standing in extreme heat and cold to wait for the bus, and arriving home with a headache from the exhaust and nausea from the constant weaving, shaking and leaning of the bus. 

It is not a comfortable experience.

I'd have been hard-pressed to take seven different buses for anything when I lived in the city. But the story begs the question:

How far are you willing to go for what's important to you?  

Many of us are searching for happiness - in our careers, in our relationships, with our creative outlets. 

But how far are we willing to go? How much effort are we willing to put into the process? How important is it to us?

If you want to drop 20 pounds in two months but only watch what you eat Monday through Thursday, you're going to have a tough time making that happen. If you want to run a marathon but only run three miles twice a week it's going to be tough going on race day. 

That's why we spend time talking about your why. Understanding why you want to run that marathon or lose those 20 pounds. Knowing your reasons, I mean really knowing yourself can help fuel the effort.

Wanting to make more money is a goal. Wanting to make enough money for your spouse to quit his or her soul sucking job and be more present and happy at home is about a life-change for your family. 

Wanting to drop 40 pounds so you can get off of blood pressure medication and get on the floor with your grandchildren and be there to see them graduate high school is specific and clear and will help you stick to your fitness routine every day; not just when you feel like it.    

While I FaceTime with my parents every Sunday morning now, that ritual took years to form after I left Pennsylvania. It seemed like such a hassle to sit down and talk on the phone or find ten minutes to call and talk on a regular basis.

I’m not proud of that, but it’s true.

Then my dad's brother had a stroke. And calling my parents changed from something that I "should" do to something that was important to me because I was reminded that life is short.   

What is important to you? 

And how far are you willing to go for what's important?

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Friday morning my alarm went off, and I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower.

I’d signed up for an early morning networking event. (As I try to grow my business, I recognize that these type of events are important, even if I’d rather slide down a razor blade into a bed of salt than spend my spare time socializing with strangers.)

So I put my clothes on and as I got ready to head out the door, was slammed with a realization. 

I…just…..couldn’t…..talk….to….one….more…..person. 

Not yet anyway.

This is how I get my energy. And also why it's sometimes hard to actually type a blog post, with his head on my wrist and whatnot...

So I turned around. Put my Captain America jammies back on and crawled into bed with a pillow over my head. 

I felt a little guilty because I’d spent 20 bucks on the event. And my life coach, whom I really like, was presenting on the problem of saying no (I’m sure she was proud that I said no to this event on saying no…) 

But I’d spent from 10:50 am to 8:05 pm on Thursday either talking to or being talked to at the gym.  

And for me, that much interacting with people, regardless of how much I am enjoying those people, is exhausting. As it turns out, I’m also a very high empath, which means I’m basically a lint roller for people’s emotions. (Empaths are highly sensitive people who have a keen ability to sense what people around them are thinking and feeling. I sense it, and then I take it on.)

I’ve known since college that I am an introvert. My spiritual director administered the Meyers Briggs test to me during my sophomore year at Gannon. As it turns out, I was an off-the-charts introvert (I’m an INFP if you’re curious). For those of you who only know the current Kim, you might be surprised to learn that I'm introverted, as coaching as helped me to become more outgoing over the years.

Introverted does not mean shy, and those two terms are not interchangeable.

The terms introversion and extroversion are preferences popularized by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung and later incorporated into what is now known as the Meyers Briggs test I referenced above. 

Extroverts tend to be outgoing and talkative and get their energy from parties and engaging with people. Introverts tend to get their energy from quiet reflection, and that energy dwindles during interactions. 

I know what I need to get and keep my energy up, and I know that quiet reflective time (i.e. pillow over my head) is important for me. But I forgot.

A few years ago I read the book Quiet by Susan Cain. I didn’t think the book had much to teach me (I know…how arrogant of me), mostly because I spent so much time working with my personality type in college and when I lived in the convent.

I was wrong. This book was an excellent reminder that it’s not just conversations and being around people that fatigue me.

It’s loud noise (I don’t love concerts), bright lights (I work in ambient light at every opportunity), and any other type of stimuli. Which means the gym is actually a very draining environment for me, no matter how much I love it.

I write this post mostly because I think so many of us try to force ourselves to go against the grain. Don’t get me wrong. It’s important to terrify yourself sometimes (I’ve been doing more Facebook Live videos, which I recommend if you want to terrify yourself. Also jumping out of planes, but I’m not going to do that.) If you don’t challenge your comfort zone, you’ll never grow.  

But if you don’t also pay attention to your needs and energy levels, you’ll fry yourself. 

Let’s say you are a high introvert and decided to sign up for Crossfit* because your friend insisted you try it. It was okay at first, but gradually, you found yourself dreading each session - maybe because you didn’t feel like working out, but maybe because you just want to put your headphones on and be left alone.

I’m not knocking Crossfit here, but the community aspect is part of it’s appeal. If I spent my day working in an office and rarely talking to people, I could probably enjoy that community vibe. But given the work I do now, there’s no way I want to do a workout that requires engaging with people. 

Choosing an exercise routine that aligns with your personality is a great way to make it stick. That might mean that you work out by yourself two days a week and take a spin class two other days. If you’re an extrovert, that might mean that you find a workout group or class for all of your workouts. 

Last Friday was an eye-opener for me. Despite my self-work and knowledge around my personality, I had to acknowledge that I can’t always force something. Going to a networking event is important and I will go to them. But next time around, I’ll plan that event around my work week and my personality and I’ll attend the event when I’m fresher. I’ll honor my introvert.

*I'm not knocking Crossfit. I just know that the Crossfit environment is largely successful because of the strong community aspect of it.  

Each week I send out a newsletter with tips and tricks for working out. Click here to sign up. I won't spam you. I'm not like that. Besides, spam is gross.