The Benefit of the Doubt

If you've been on this email list for awhile, you probably know that I'm a big fan of Mr. Rogers.

Fred. Not Aaron....

So here's a Mr. Rogers' quote for your day:

"Sometimes all it takes is one kind word to nourish another person. Think of the ripple effect that can be created when we nourish someone."

I talk about kindness a lot; but I'd be lying if I said I always defaulted to always being kind, or even thinking kind thoughts.

A few years ago I was waiting to check in at the front desk of a hotel when a woman walked in and cut right in front of me. I was tired from traveling, but as someone who avoids confrontation, instead of saying anything to her, I just stood there, burning a hole in the back of her head with my rage-filled thoughts, and eyes.

I was annoyed at her privilege, and getting madder and madder by the second that she thought so little of me that she could just cut in front of me to get to her comfy bed faster.

Then she turned around and looked at me.

"Oh my goodness," she said. "Are you in line? I'm so sorry - I wasn't paying any attention."

And just like that....ohhhhh....snap. All of that anger went right out of me.

Of course I played it off like it was no big deal, pretending that I hadn't been wishing her bad travel karma just seconds before.

Not only had I been standing there telling myself a story about what a horribly inconsiderate person she was, but did something that is so easy to do, especially these days.

I assumed negative intent.

That was my default reaction.

Instead of pausing for even a few seconds to consider any other scenario or giving her the benefit of the doubt, I made a snap judgement that turned out to be completely off base.

I thought about this story recently when I was hired to do a workshop on communication at a business. When I asked what some of the challenges they had with communication, assuming negative intent was in the top three.

And I realized I was just as guilty as anybody else.