In May of 1998 I boarded a plane for just the second time in my life, a non-stop flight from Pittsburgh to Denver. I packed a pair of suitcases and my guitar, off to spend the summer working in Rocky Mountain National Park. 

When I finally got to the "real" mountains. 

Despite growing up in Western Pennsylvania and having never been there, I was obsessed with going to Colorado and living in the “real” mountains.

In Pennsylvania we said we have mountains but that's pretty generous. 

For the most part, we have hills.

I spent a few days in Estes Park, which sits at the base of the Rocky Mountains (and is home to scenes from Dumb and Dumber)  before making my first trek into the park. I remember having to put my face face on the dashboard of the car just to see the snow covered peaks as we wove our way up Trail Ridge Road. 

I was lost for words trying to take in the beauty. 

Over the course of that summer I hiked close to 300 miles of trails in the park, taking each day off from my work at Trail Ridge Store to pick a new hike.

It wasn’t until I hiked the mountains of Colorado that I discovered and understood the beauty of the switchback trails. 

A switchback, if you’re not familiar, is described as an 180 degree bend in a road or path, especially one leading up the side of the mountain. Rather than hiking straight up the side of a mountain, you zig zag your way up however many miles of trails until you get above tree line and to the summit.

I thought of switchbacks a few weeks ago when a client came in after a very busy, packed weekend filled with tons of physical activity. The more she described her weekend activities the more I was re-thinking the best workout for her that day. 

“Oh no,” she said, reading my thoughts. “That doesn’t mean I want you to take it easy on me!” 

We haggled back and forth for a bit before meeting in the middle with some active recovery work added at the end of her workout. 

Sometimes we equate hard core suffering with work. We feel that we're only getting results if we're nose down in the turf, sucking wind and drowning in a pool of sweat.

No.

The path to getting results isn't always charging straight up the North Face of a steep mountain. Sure that's one way to do it, but the chances of losing a step and falling backwards increase dramatically when you take that approach. 

You can still get to the top of the mountain using the switchbacks, and hopefully not rolling 200 feet down the mountain when you miss a step. 

I don't recall which hike this was, but once we got above tree-line, the switchbacks ended and we were walking straight up the side of the mountain. Also this was before digital cameras. No need for an instagram filter here...

(As a side thought, aren’t you impressed with anyone who has reached the summit on Mount Everest? Or are you only impressed if they did so without oxygen? Sure doing it with no oxygen is much harder, but I would argue that both are impressive.)

Switchbacks don’t mean that you don’t do the work. They just make the journey more accessible and manageable. Hiking eight miles of trail, switchbacks and all, is plenty of work. But they allow you, hopefully, to slow down every few bends, stop and look around and enjoy the view. And then, after a short rest and a long drink of water, you tighten your backpack and tackle the next part of the trail. 

I hope you're stopping every now and then to appreciate where you are at on your journey. That you can see the good views and truly absorb what you are doing well. 

I know what it feels like to want to make yourself suffer. To punish yourself with a workout because of the self-loathing you feel for yourself. To feel like you're an awful person and that beating the hell out of yourself is justice for everything you hate yourself for. 

No.

You don't have to make everything you do as hard as possible. 

I'm not saying you don't have to work hard. This journey can and will be difficult. 

I'm just saying you don't have to climb Mount Everest without oxygen.

Or a sherpa :-) 

Ok? 

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“Ever since happiness heard your name, it’s been running down the street trying to find you”

— Hafiz, Perisian Poet

I read this quote, then glanced at the book on the corner of my desk. 

"10% Happier", by Dan Harris. 

I looked at my bookshelf.

“The Happiness Project,” by Gretchen Ruben.

“The Art of Happiness,” by the Dalai Lama - just to name a few. 

The next book I'm reading is on Geno Auriemma, the head coach of UConn women's basketball. Thanks Anne. :-)

I looked from the books back to the quote on my computer monitor.

Has happiness been chasing me? 

Hardly. 

Sadness often grips me around my ankles, tugging me towards darkness, baiting me into the shadows and shackling me under the cobwebs and stairs. 

It has sometimes felt like my full-time job to pull out of those shackles and go looking for happiness.

The first time anyone ever asked me whether or not I was happy, I was working as a newspaper reporter for a weekly paper in Western Pennsylvania, making 15K a year and considering graduate school options. 

No, I told her. I wasn’t really happy.

At the time, I was completely floundering in my journey, certain that happiness, if it were to be found for me, was on the other side of a Master’s Degree in creative writing. I didn’t know much, but I was sure of that.    

“Have you ever been happy?” she asked.

I chewed on the question for a bit. I wasn’t sure. 

There were moments I’d enjoyed - playing sports, spending time with family and friends. I’d certainly had fun and laughter at times in my life. 

But happy? Me? 

I’ve always thought of happiness as a sacred place of arrival - the Mount Everest of joy - where we arrive one day panting, breathless, savoring the view and reflecting on our effort to get there.  

Happiness is a place we are trying to get to, rather than a place we already are. 

We’re sure that it’s hidden in the new job, the new relationship, or at our goal weight of 145 pounds. Happiness and 145 pounds go hand in hand, right?

But what if it’s not like that?

What if we really don’t need to look for it? Chase it? Try to win it?

What if we really just need to be open to it?  

What if happiness is in the warm sun, shining on my head as I write this. In Rooney’s contented breathing as he lays on my legs and I drink my coffee. Watching my niece and nephew do push-ups for me while we FaceTime. 

In Sunday morning conversations and coffee with my parents. 

And a gym full of people gathered to watch the original Wonder Woman with me. 

Happiness is in so many places and people and moments. 

Happiness has been chasing us all along. 

We’re not always easy to catch. Because we’re too busy running ahead when really, we just need to stop long enough to let it catch us. 

Today, right now, in this moment - stop. 

Practice that sacred pause. 

And let happiness catch you. 

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My favorite book, which I've referenced before, is "Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion," by Father Greg Boyle.  

Having the chance to read to my niece and nephew is pretty important. Even if they're not so small anymore...

If you're unfamiliar, Father Boyle founded Homeboy Industries, an organization in L.A. that helps to rehabilitate gang members. They started with a bakery, but now have an entire operation that includes screen printing and catering.

In the book, Father Greg tells the story of a 17-year-old boy about to be baptized who is speaking of his growing appreciation for his mother.

“Every Sunday, the entire time I was in jail, my mother came to visit me,” he says, breaking down and weeping. “She took seven buses every Sunday, just to get to me and visit my sorry ass.”

There are many stories from this book that I love. But this is one of my favorites. 

I took the bus and the subway (in Boston, it's called the T) during my five years in the city. I'd sold my car before moving, so I either walked or took public transportation everywhere.  

While I was relieved to not drive in Boston, the exchange was standing in extreme heat and cold to wait for the bus, and arriving home with a headache from the exhaust and nausea from the constant weaving, shaking and leaning of the bus. 

It is not a comfortable experience.

I'd have been hard-pressed to take seven different buses for anything when I lived in the city. But the story begs the question:

How far are you willing to go for what's important to you?  

Many of us are searching for happiness - in our careers, in our relationships, with our creative outlets. 

But how far are we willing to go? How much effort are we willing to put into the process? How important is it to us?

If you want to drop 20 pounds in two months but only watch what you eat Monday through Thursday, you're going to have a tough time making that happen. If you want to run a marathon but only run three miles twice a week it's going to be tough going on race day. 

That's why we spend time talking about your why. Understanding why you want to run that marathon or lose those 20 pounds. Knowing your reasons, I mean really knowing yourself can help fuel the effort.

Wanting to make more money is a goal. Wanting to make enough money for your spouse to quit his or her soul sucking job and be more present and happy at home is about a life-change for your family. 

Wanting to drop 40 pounds so you can get off of blood pressure medication and get on the floor with your grandchildren and be there to see them graduate high school is specific and clear and will help you stick to your fitness routine every day; not just when you feel like it.    

While I FaceTime with my parents every Sunday morning now, that ritual took years to form after I left Pennsylvania. It seemed like such a hassle to sit down and talk on the phone or find ten minutes to call and talk on a regular basis.

I’m not proud of that, but it’s true.

Then my dad's brother had a stroke. And calling my parents changed from something that I "should" do to something that was important to me because I was reminded that life is short.   

What is important to you? 

And how far are you willing to go for what's important?

*** Each week I send out a newsletter with tips and tricks for working out. Click here to sign up. I won't spam you. I'm not like that. Besides, spam is gross.