It's time to break up with that number

It’s time.

You’ve been hanging on for months, years, maybe even decades. You’ve taped the picture on the mirror, made it the homepage on your desktop, and you look at it every single day. So I’m telling you now, it’s time.

It’s time to break up with that number in your head.


We all have a number in our head for our “ideal” weight. A number that floats above us constantly, that lodges itself in the corner of our minds, wedges itself in all of our goals. We use that number as a marker for our happiness - I’ll be happy when I hit 160 pounds. I’ll feel better when I weigh 175lbs.  

But today is the day to call it off.

Even though I’ve never really struggled with my weight, I still had to break up with my ideal number when I took up strength training. I was in my early thirties when I first hired a coach, and I was quick to list out my main goal for training.

To get back to 125lbs.

Sure I wanted muscle and some strength and to stay healthy, but those goals were secondary to hitting my “happy” weight.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever said I just want to get back to ***lbs. Or, I was happy when I weighed *** lbs.

First of all, we need to stop training for the past. In my case, my “happy” weight was also when I was in the throes of my depression and wasn’t happy at all. I was skinny because I had no appetite, but it’s easy to forget that reality.

Second of all, that old number that’s in your head likely doesn’t account for your new strength. When you begin strength training, you are going to put on muscle. You are going to increase your bone density. And those are all great things that are going to affect your overall weight.

So it’s time to sit down, face to face with that number and have a real chat. “It’s not me, it’s you,” you might say. “You’re not reflective of my happiness. You don’t determine whether or not I feel good about myself. You do not own my self-worth.”

I don’t care what you say. And if you have to anthropomorphize the number to make the break up stick, do it. Whatever you have to do to make it happen, do it.

Break up with that old, ideal number. And move on.